Better start learning something, something official like…

First – the title page… and goal setting?

It suxed.

Maybe I used to like that whole title page thing because the rest of the topic was so prescribed but perhaps for Helena, who gets to choose what to do, doing a title page suddenly seems as dumb as it is.

Or maybe it’s that I really have become a non New Year’s resolution kind of person, resolutions full stop. Everything is always changing. Possibly the two of us just can’t see past my recent mastectomy and how something so unexpected becomes everything for a bit. One of Helena’s goals is ‘Mummy get better’ so is it seen as a funtion of time? however I’m not sure it’s something she can work towards, it’s more a little bit of her worries and preoccupations slipping out so I can see them. Another goal is ‘Buy a Farm’ but she did not want me to write that. I guess she knows it’s unlikely, a wish not a goal -so different. At least that means she sees ‘Mummy get better’ in the realms of that which is possible.

Maybe it’s just not natural to write down what one is aiming for above and beyond the immediate, living in the moment stuff, as ‘be able to swim’ came out quickly, as did ‘make a raft’ and ‘get a kayak’ (with a cheeky smile and an infered question mark). Swimming is something Helena is trying so hard at now and it’s so tangible, unlikely to change, is attemped most days, she’ll know when she gets there (as defined by herself) and the goals not too far away. The perfect goal?