Today, I woke up after being sick for a while, and my brain was a buzz.

When I was last sick, I wrote to a friend of my mother’s, and before I posted the letter she died.

My mother and her were really good friends, one who believed in God and one who didn’t. They modeled for me what an adult friendship looked like. One of my favorite photos of my mother was taken at her house. My mother looks like how I feel with my friends, totally relaxed and engaged in conversation. When my mother was dying, she flew down and sat with mum talking and sewing. She was an artist who was constantly on the move. She taught me about “bread and butters.” These are things you make that sell for a little but often, and they mean you are not dependent on selling what you want to make to make a living. This is an important distinction. It separates the money from the art, and it also democratizes art – the poor can afford art.

I was thinking about my mother’s friend because I am staring at a blank page. The art I want to create is a place for children to learn what they want and to be free to create. But I have to find a way to do the bread and butters so I am free to make the art like I believe.

That my mum’s friend died just as I was thinking about her, and being slack about getting round to posting the letter makes me feel it is even more imperative to get on to it. I have some books of thoughts that I sometimes peruse when I want a spark, a buzz.

It is all about not being scared to make mistakes. Not to be all talk but to take action. To think about what is truly important, and it’s not money. To commit.