So often when I ask Helena to do things I just want them done… from “get your shoes we need to go” to the slightly terse “pick your stuff up off the floor”. Mostly easy things in my head, a bit of working out the most efficient way and I’d have it done in minutes. This is not so for my child and I suspect lots of other kids. It’s a whole process. Firstly there is getting the instruction through to an already busy brain – further complicated by me not knowing if she has actually heard me due to a lack of response, so possibly a repetition of the instruction (often louder). Then there is the next phase of it passing an emotional filter.. where my darling sorts out if I “shouted,” told her something she was about to do, any feelings of injury to her autonomy, guilt if she’d thought about it, some kind of rationalisation of why it is so, the it’s not her “fault” concern etc… Time is passing and the bus getting closer.. Finally there is the actual doing of the thing which often feels like time has stopped. The act of doing things can be so hard for her as every thing often has a complicated back story, there is the naming of things and their complicated relationships..

this is the way the dish racks have to go as this is some kind of zoo, the dishes some kind of animals, and the box at the back of the cupboard is the zoo’s post office…. Times being asked to put the dishes away = many, rants = several, tears = some..

I am not sure what the learning is about here. I rebel against my role and refuse to be a dogs body and H rebels against her role and refuses to be a dogs body but has more fun doing the jobs than I ever do..