H has been a bit sad as she has noticed that as kids age they stop “playing”.. Playing as defined by her is more of a physical, immersive thing that involves talking but usually accompanied by physically doing something such as building a base and talking the process and the story as the game. I have noticed some of this too. At the holiday programme we have so many repeat customers, kids that come time and time again and it is noticeable the change in the kids over time (perhaps especially with the ten week breaks between seeing the kids). Sometimes this manifests in the increased complication of the same game – for example the kid who was really into running Everyone Out Olympics has gone from just having seats and tickets to coming with full on descriptions of each events. He is still working on how to include others in some of the management of what events are held and what the public wants!! It always seems to degenerate into a free for all of lots of physical rough and tumble with the Olympic Manager (I can’t remember what it is he likes to call himself) right in there and turning to chaos. Sometimes the change occurs in the abilities of particular children to participate in games with out causing offence to others, a kind of self control. But I too have noticed the bigger kids becoming more sort of boring, and sometimes they stop coming. Some of the changes over time are good. We had another now 11 year old who caused a lot of ructions between the other children – carefully orchestrated by him but in ways that it was the other children who would be “in trouble” or upset and not him and over the passage of time this has lessened. He still seems to like coming even though I have not been reticent in telling him what I thought of his power games.

One of the kids has been coming for years and loves it. She is now of an age that she volunteers – at 14 you can look after other children so we can use her as staff. Her main games use to be in base making, getting seriously muddy, massive sword fights, a star Olympian, and in constructing amazing swings (this includes knots we have yet been unable to untie). She never came with friends but certainly made them, often playing and supporting the little kids and being so independent. I admire her. This holiday programme I noticed her slide into “being grown up”. We have always had teenage staff and I think this is so important for the younger children who will be them one day, they certainly don’t want to be me – a middle aged mother!! The young adults (teenagers) sometimes are the best players with the most energy to be chased by little fans who tie them up, take them captive etc. The young adults also often tire and have to have a long sit down. There are also the young adults who really just want to sit around and chat, whos phone is on their person. It is hard watching this transition happen even when sitting around chatting to young people is something I find fun. Our 14year old is now a phone and chatting expert.

H has noticed that her very own friends are heading this way, there is more walking and talking or sitting and talking or them wanting to hang out with older kids and sit and chat. I think this is part of the beginnings of H living with grief, (like we all do) – the deep loss of childhood, innocence, the loss of things we loved or things that no longer have that spark of pure joy. It is a hard transition. I like she still wants to be a child, she knows that being a kid is the best thing out there….